Most young people spend their time daily dreaming about getting married someday and having a happy home. But the road that leads to a happy marriage has many “pitfalls” along the way.
A pitfall is a carefully concealed trap. On the surface, it looks harmless, but when you walk on it, you will fall into a deep pit.
Satan is an expert at building “pitfalls” his carefully concealed traps look innocent enough, but they are deadly. Some of these “pitfalls” can keep you from ever having marriage and a happy home.
Let us therefore consider them one by one.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
1 Living for the Moment:
The “live for the moment” philosophy is everywhere! We are bombarded with the idea: “You only go through life once, so grab for the gusto you can!”
This way of thinking is as old as the hills. In time past it went under the saying “eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.” One thing wrong with this is that we don’t usually die tomorrow. Instead, we have to live with our mistakes; some sins have lifetime consequences and must also face judgment for them after death.
Satan has always tried to promote the idea of living for the moment with wrong motives because it causes people to do things they would never do if they considered the future. Life is more than what you see now. Its the rest of your life here and forever in the next world which is heaven or hell. If you reject Jesus Christ you will end up in hell. You are not here just to live but to fulfill a purpose.
How to avoid this pitfall: recognize the seriousness and sacredness of life. Remember that what you do now will definitely affect you both this life and your life after now
This way of thinking is as old as the hills. In time past it went under the saying “eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die.” One thing wrong with this is that we don’t usually die tomorrow. Instead, we have to live with our mistakes; some sins have lifetime consequences and must also face judgment for them after death.
Satan has always tried to promote the idea of living for the moment with wrong motives because it causes people to do things they would never do if they considered the future. Life is more than what you see now. Its the rest of your life here and forever in the next world which is heaven or hell. If you reject Jesus Christ you will end up in hell. You are not here just to live but to fulfill a purpose.
How to avoid this pitfall: recognize the seriousness and sacredness of life. Remember that what you do now will definitely affect you both this life and your life after now
2 Living for good feelings:
The slogans “if it feels good, do it” expresses another philosophy which has permeated our society. The whole world drug scene is based on the idea: “get a good feeling now, no matter what happen later.”
Some people who ought to know better think that almost anything is all right if it gives them a good feeling. There is even a song that promotes this idea with the line: “it can’t be wrong when it feels so right.”
Don’t be gullible enough to believe that just because something gives you a good feeling does not mean that it is right. You might get a good feeling out of stealing a new car and riding around in it or doping someone of his/her money or anything and because you feel good when using them wouldn’t make it right.
How to avoid this pitfall: Don’t let your feelings control your actions
Some people who ought to know better think that almost anything is all right if it gives them a good feeling. There is even a song that promotes this idea with the line: “it can’t be wrong when it feels so right.”
Don’t be gullible enough to believe that just because something gives you a good feeling does not mean that it is right. You might get a good feeling out of stealing a new car and riding around in it or doping someone of his/her money or anything and because you feel good when using them wouldn’t make it right.
How to avoid this pitfall: Don’t let your feelings control your actions
3 Sexual immoralities:
It’s easy for young people to fall into the pitfall of sexual immorality. Many are into sex sins, and they seem to be getting away with it. But no one can violet God’s moral laws without sooner or later paying a terrible price. A single act of immorality can have tragic consequences which may include contracting a venereal disease, unwanted pregnancy, a stop to fulfill purpose, untimely death, etc.
How to avoid this pitfall: Keep yourself pure. Remember that your body is a temple of the Living God, you are a part of God, Jesus paid so dearly for you to have you back to God and you are so costly. What you get out of immorality is not worth what it costs you.
How to avoid this pitfall: Keep yourself pure. Remember that your body is a temple of the Living God, you are a part of God, Jesus paid so dearly for you to have you back to God and you are so costly. What you get out of immorality is not worth what it costs you.
4 Teen marriages:
Those who marry in their teen are asking for trouble. Teen marriages are twice as likely to end in divorce as those of couples who were in their twenties when they married. The odds are even worse when the bride is under eighteen.
There are at least two major disadvantages to teen marriages. First of all, if you try to choose your marriage partner while you are still in your teens, you will probably make a wrong choice. Secondary, most teens are not mature enough to handle marriage. It requires large amounts of unselfish, caring love to make a marriage work, and it takes a lot of “growing up” before a person has that kind of love.
How to avoid this pitfall: take your time about getting married –lots of time.
There are at least two major disadvantages to teen marriages. First of all, if you try to choose your marriage partner while you are still in your teens, you will probably make a wrong choice. Secondary, most teens are not mature enough to handle marriage. It requires large amounts of unselfish, caring love to make a marriage work, and it takes a lot of “growing up” before a person has that kind of love.
How to avoid this pitfall: take your time about getting married –lots of time.
5 5 Marring to escape the problems of being single:
Girls need to over the idea that the chief end of life is marriage. The fear of missing the last chance for “marital bliss” causes many a girl to ignore her better judgment and jump into a disastrous marriage. She may see a number of warning flags, but she thinks, “Well, it probably won’t be the best marriage in the world, but what could be worse than living alone”?
The answer to this is “a bad marriage is much worse than living alone” women by the untold thousands could tell you that a bad marriage is among the most miserable experiences that anyone can have on this earth. It is filled with hatred, rejection, resentment and hurt feelings. And often children are the innocent victims of such a marriage.
How to avoid this pitfall: learn to be happy and satisfied while you are single, and you won’t feel pressured to jump into unwise marriage. Then prepare yourself.
The answer to this is “a bad marriage is much worse than living alone” women by the untold thousands could tell you that a bad marriage is among the most miserable experiences that anyone can have on this earth. It is filled with hatred, rejection, resentment and hurt feelings. And often children are the innocent victims of such a marriage.
How to avoid this pitfall: learn to be happy and satisfied while you are single, and you won’t feel pressured to jump into unwise marriage. Then prepare yourself.
Marring someone with the expectation of changing him/her is about like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. The chances of landing are about the same in both cases.
As risky as it is, many girls and boys are still willing to gamble on their future happiness by marrying someone in the hope of changing him/her. A girl may argue with her, “I know Iyke drinks too much and chases other girls, but I think he will change after we are married.”
This is wishful thinking and it is 100% wrong. You do not change a person’s basic nature by marrying him. If there are problems before marriage, they will likely be worse after marriage.
How to avoid this pitfall: don’t expect to change a person after marriage. What you see is what you get.
7 trying out sex before marriage: trying out sex before marriage is often presented as a very reasonable course of action. A boy will say, “You wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes without trying them, so why marry without first of trying out sex”?
There are several reasons why the “try it out first” the idea is not good. Marrying someone cannot be compared to buying a pair of shoes. A woman is not to be thought as a piece of merchandise to be “tried out,” but a life partner to be loved and cherished. She is precious and priceless in Gods sight, and she ought to be the same in your sight. Remember, your looking for a life partner not just a sex partner.
Furthermore, a before-marriage test of sex is not a valid sample of what sex will be like within the marriage.
How to avoid this pitfall: don’t accept the foolish “try out sex before marriage” idea. If you have real love going for you, you don’t need to worry about your sex life being good. It will be!
As risky as it is, many girls and boys are still willing to gamble on their future happiness by marrying someone in the hope of changing him/her. A girl may argue with her, “I know Iyke drinks too much and chases other girls, but I think he will change after we are married.”
This is wishful thinking and it is 100% wrong. You do not change a person’s basic nature by marrying him. If there are problems before marriage, they will likely be worse after marriage.
How to avoid this pitfall: don’t expect to change a person after marriage. What you see is what you get.
7 trying out sex before marriage: trying out sex before marriage is often presented as a very reasonable course of action. A boy will say, “You wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes without trying them, so why marry without first of trying out sex”?
There are several reasons why the “try it out first” the idea is not good. Marrying someone cannot be compared to buying a pair of shoes. A woman is not to be thought as a piece of merchandise to be “tried out,” but a life partner to be loved and cherished. She is precious and priceless in Gods sight, and she ought to be the same in your sight. Remember, your looking for a life partner not just a sex partner.
Furthermore, a before-marriage test of sex is not a valid sample of what sex will be like within the marriage.
How to avoid this pitfall: don’t accept the foolish “try out sex before marriage” idea. If you have real love going for you, you don’t need to worry about your sex life being good. It will be!
7 Trying out sex before marriage:
Trying out sex before marriage is often presented as a very reasonable course of action. A boy will say, “You wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes without trying them, so why marry without first of trying out sex”?
There are several reasons why the “try it out first” the idea is not good. Marrying someone cannot be compared to buying a pair of shoes. A woman is not to be thought as a piece of merchandise to be “tried out,” but a life partner to be loved and cherished. She is precious and priceless in Gods sight, and she ought to be the same in your sight. Remember, your looking for a life partner not just a sex partner.
Furthermore, a before-marriage test of sex is not a valid sample of what sex will be like within the marriage.
How to avoid this pitfall: don’t accept the foolish “try out sex before marriage” idea. If you have real love going for you, you don’t need to worry about your sex life being good. It will be!
There are several reasons why the “try it out first” the idea is not good. Marrying someone cannot be compared to buying a pair of shoes. A woman is not to be thought as a piece of merchandise to be “tried out,” but a life partner to be loved and cherished. She is precious and priceless in Gods sight, and she ought to be the same in your sight. Remember, your looking for a life partner not just a sex partner.
Furthermore, a before-marriage test of sex is not a valid sample of what sex will be like within the marriage.
How to avoid this pitfall: don’t accept the foolish “try out sex before marriage” idea. If you have real love going for you, you don’t need to worry about your sex life being good. It will be!
8 Living together:
Living together without the benefit of a marriage ceremony has become popular among many people. Men usually like the “living together” arrangement. Why shouldn’t they? They have somebody to wash their clothes, cook their meals and provide sex when they want it –all with little or no responsibility on their part.
They can come and go as they please. When they want to leave permanently, there is nothing to keep them from doing so.
The arrangement is not quite as satisfactory to the woman. The most common complaint among live-in women is, “sometimes I get the feeling that I am being used.” It is no wonder that they get that feeling
When you ask a woman why they chose such an arrangement, the most frequent answer they give is that they are looking forward to getting married. But their hopes for marriage are often disappointed. The men usually reason, “why should I marry her when I am getting all the benefits of marriage without the responsibilities? Besides, I may want a change some day and it will be much easier this way”
That’s pure selfishness! Even if a woman manages to such a man to marry her, she won’t have much
The false idea that marriage thrives best when it is on a “come and go as you please” basics is expressed by the popular song entitled “gentle on my mind.” In this song, the man says that it was not the “ink-stained signatures on some old marriage certificate” that kept him coming to his lover’s home. It knew that he could leave anything he wanted to. It was his freedom to come and go as he pleased that kept her “gentle on his mind”
How foolish! And how selfish! He does not say anything about the woman and how she feels watching him come and go “as he pleases” and the song says nothing about who pays the bills in such a home, nor does it take into account the little children who may be born to such a relationship-children who would always e wondering, “where is Daddy? When is he coming home?”
A successful marriage and a happy home are based on unselfish love and commitment between husband and wife. You will never have such a home with the “come and go as you please” arrangement of living together.
How to avoid this pitfall: don’t accept a cheap, immoral “play marriages” wait for the real thing.
They can come and go as they please. When they want to leave permanently, there is nothing to keep them from doing so.
The arrangement is not quite as satisfactory to the woman. The most common complaint among live-in women is, “sometimes I get the feeling that I am being used.” It is no wonder that they get that feeling
When you ask a woman why they chose such an arrangement, the most frequent answer they give is that they are looking forward to getting married. But their hopes for marriage are often disappointed. The men usually reason, “why should I marry her when I am getting all the benefits of marriage without the responsibilities? Besides, I may want a change some day and it will be much easier this way”
That’s pure selfishness! Even if a woman manages to such a man to marry her, she won’t have much
The false idea that marriage thrives best when it is on a “come and go as you please” basics is expressed by the popular song entitled “gentle on my mind.” In this song, the man says that it was not the “ink-stained signatures on some old marriage certificate” that kept him coming to his lover’s home. It knew that he could leave anything he wanted to. It was his freedom to come and go as he pleased that kept her “gentle on his mind”
How foolish! And how selfish! He does not say anything about the woman and how she feels watching him come and go “as he pleases” and the song says nothing about who pays the bills in such a home, nor does it take into account the little children who may be born to such a relationship-children who would always e wondering, “where is Daddy? When is he coming home?”
A successful marriage and a happy home are based on unselfish love and commitment between husband and wife. You will never have such a home with the “come and go as you please” arrangement of living together.
How to avoid this pitfall: don’t accept a cheap, immoral “play marriages” wait for the real thing.
9 Christians marrying non-Christians:
many Christians are bound in miserable, unhappy marriages because they disobeyed a plain command of the Lord. In His Word, He commands us believers not to marry unbelievers. It’s recorded in 2corinthians 6:14 “be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers….”
Christians who are contemplating marriage to unbelievers feel that somehow their particular situation is different and that this command does not apply to them. But Gods Word plainly says that Christians are not to be yoked together with unbelievers.
How to avoid this pitfall: determine that you will never, under any circumstances, marry a non-Christian
Christians who are contemplating marriage to unbelievers feel that somehow their particular situation is different and that this command does not apply to them. But Gods Word plainly says that Christians are not to be yoked together with unbelievers.
How to avoid this pitfall: determine that you will never, under any circumstances, marry a non-Christian
10 Christian dating non-Christian
Many Christian young people do not understand why they are warned not to date non-Christians. The reason is this: dating often leads to engagement and marriage.
You may not realize it but Satan is quite a matchmaker. He loves to mess up the lives of Christian young people by getting them married to the wrong persons. He does this by encouraging them to date non-Christians.
Most Christian young people don’t see anything wrong with dating non-Christians. Remember a pitfall is a concealed trap. You don’t see the danger of it until you fall into it, and then it’s too late.
Remember this, if a girl marries a man who is not a Christian will be joined together for life with one which is a child of devil, and for the rest of her life she will have Satan for her father in-law. The Christian who says “I have no intention of marrying an unbeliever but I think it’s all right dating one” is overlooking the fact that every such date has the potential of a disastrous life-long relationship. Someone has well said, “Any Christian foolish enough to date an unbeliever is foolish enough to marry one” even if the dating does not lead to marriage, it causes problems. Spending time with the wrong person is opening you up to an emotional involvement that will not be easy to get out of. Once you have given your heart and emotions to someone, it is difficult to take them back, even when you know you should.
How to avoid this pitfall: don’t date non-Christians. If you don’t date unbelievers, you won’t marry one.
You may not realize it but Satan is quite a matchmaker. He loves to mess up the lives of Christian young people by getting them married to the wrong persons. He does this by encouraging them to date non-Christians.
Most Christian young people don’t see anything wrong with dating non-Christians. Remember a pitfall is a concealed trap. You don’t see the danger of it until you fall into it, and then it’s too late.
Remember this, if a girl marries a man who is not a Christian will be joined together for life with one which is a child of devil, and for the rest of her life she will have Satan for her father in-law. The Christian who says “I have no intention of marrying an unbeliever but I think it’s all right dating one” is overlooking the fact that every such date has the potential of a disastrous life-long relationship. Someone has well said, “Any Christian foolish enough to date an unbeliever is foolish enough to marry one” even if the dating does not lead to marriage, it causes problems. Spending time with the wrong person is opening you up to an emotional involvement that will not be easy to get out of. Once you have given your heart and emotions to someone, it is difficult to take them back, even when you know you should.
How to avoid this pitfall: don’t date non-Christians. If you don’t date unbelievers, you won’t marry one.
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